Category: musings

What We Watched Over the Holidays

Posted on by Life is Surreal in movies, musings, reviews, ridiculousness

One of the biggest challenges my husband and I face in our marriage is picking what to watch on Saturday movie date night. So much so, that he posted this video on my Facebook wall. Rather than Friends being our default, our go-to is either Bob’s Burgers, King of the Hill, American Dad!, or Rick and Morty. Our days of clubbing are well over, and we feel no shame spending Saturday night on the couch with the cats. A lot of it is that we’re older and much more exhausted, but it’s also a lot of “been there, done that.”

I-caramba!

Every other week we take turns picking the film, and this past Saturday, it was his choice. I wasn’t paying attention when he watched the trailer for the mini-series we were about to start, but the description sounded pretty interesting.

For your viewing pleasure, I present the I-Land preview, which prettymuch tells the entire story in a minute and twenty-three seconds, although it does leave out the scenes of a mass shooting and (multiple!) sexual assaults that we were fortunate enough to miss because we couldn’t get past the first episode. (Trigger warning: There is an attempted sexual assault in the first episode.)

After I watch a show or movie, I tend to read pretty much every review I can find on the first two pages of a Google search, but since we didn’t plan on ever watching more episodes of I-Land, I started my research right away. I’m a pretty confident writer, but there is no way I could ever write a review as awesome as the ones below. Take a look (spoilers ahead):

As far as I-Land being so bad you should watch it, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree. No one should watch it. You, of course, should make your own decision, but if you do choose to spend seven-ish hours watching it to be ironic and then get mad at the realization that you’ll never get that time back, I will say, “I told you so.”

I had a dream . . . about I-Land

I have weird dreams. They’re actually my second favorite part of sleeping, sleeping being the first. I also have a sleep disorder, but that’s another blog.

I’m telling you this because last night I dreamt about I-Land. My husband and I were getting married in this weird church that had blue water on the floor. Or maybe my one-person wedding party was wearing a blue dress. Maybe both. It really doesn’t matter.

To get to the point, before the actual ceremony, I turned to the guests and explained that the raffle tickets under their seats were their chance to win our special gift to them, a trip to I-Land. I then proceeded to play the trailer on the TV that was mounted kitty-corner in the maybe-church.

I work up sometime after my husband, the person marrying us, and I laid on the floor to go through the ceremony in that position. I never found out who won the trip.

Tit for Tat

Last night I agreed South Park: Joining the Panderverse. I haven’t watched South Park since it first came out–it’s definitely not my type of humor. But I was in the mood for something totally irrelevant and I knew my husband wanted to see it. Plus, I was totally prepared to go all liberal on him every time there was something that went against what I believe in (I’m a joy to watch movies and/or anything political with.). And get this (I’m probably going to get some pushback from this so feel free to comment): it made me laugh. And probably because I am who I am and watched it through my political lens, I found it to be much more left leaning–or should I say aware of the ridiculousness of right-wing ideas–than expected. Perhaps I misunderstood the intent, but I did enjoy my version of what I saw.

Tonight, belief it or not, to humor me, Justin has agreed to watch Barbie. I honestly think he’ll love it but if not, he’s welcome to comment as much as he likes. But if he does enjoy it, you know what I’m going to say:

Happy New Year, All!

And remember, you don’t need to make resolutions and if you do and break them, it’s totally fine. You can make changes anytime you want–there is no schedule for that. And to quote a meme I’ve seen going around, if you’re doing nothing but surviving, that’s enough.

“Libraries are our friends.” -Neil Gaiman

Posted on by Life is Surreal in books, musings, reviews

(Featured image of a place I really wish was mine by Mariia Zakatiura on Unsplash)

In my time off, I’ve been reading a lot but because I didn’t think I was getting paychecks anytime soon, I’ve rediscovered what a treasure the local library is. Currently I’m reading Quietly Hostile by Samantha Irby. If you haven’t read any of their books, I highly recommend you do. She writes in the style I love and hope to create myself. A girl can dream.

Do you want to see what I got at yesterday’s library haul?

Yes, that is a banned book you see. #GenderQueer #ReadBannedBooks

My last haul was just as good:

I was never the person who went to the public library. Don’t get me wrong, I always saw the value in them, but I collect books. Lots and lots of books. I need a whole lot more bookshelves for all these books. In fact, it never really dawned on me to read a book without keeping it. I have some that are almost 40 years old on my shelves. Some are classics, some are favorites, and some are like Rock Star by Jackie Collins (which I must admit I enjoyed all those years ago). Could I give away or sell some of the books? Well bless your heart for asking that question.

Note: I actually do still have a library book I took out in high school. It’s a collection of Emily Dickinson poems. It’s pink. Please don’t tell anyone because I probably can’t afford the 35+ year late fee.

To eRead or not to eRead

For a while I was into eBooks. They’re really great for reading in bed when your partner goes to sleep early and the light keeps them up.

But you know what you can’t do with eBooks? You can’t admire them. I mean you can, but seeing the covers on an eReader just isn’t the same.

Is listening to audiobooks really reading?

Yes. Period.

I’m currently listening to Cunk on Everything, narrated by Philomena Cunk herself. While I’m not finding it as great as Cunk in Earth because the interviews were amazing, I still highly recommend it.

Next please . . .

What are you reading?

What should I read next?

I took the day off today (How I diagnosed myself with executive dysfunction)

Posted on by Life is Surreal in executive dysfunction, gulit, musings, unemployment

(Featured image by Alina Perekatenkova on Unsplash)

When I first got notice of my layoff, I had all sorts of plans to do all the things I didn’t have the time and energy to do when I was working full time. I started off pretty strong, but as soon as I got the new job offer and my time off became limited, I kind of dropped the ball. I do things, but not the challenging (for me) things I had planned (see below), opting to mostly take it easy. Today I am taking the day off completely and spending the day on the couch. And I feel completely guilty about it.

For context, here are some of my best-laid plans for the near future:

  • Deep clean house
  • Clean and organize closets
  • Write every day
  • Read everything
  • Go to gym every day
  • Roller skate
  • Take a ski lesson
  • Visit all the friends
  • Do magick

Everything, everywhere, all at once

When I was growing up, there was no such thing as executive dysfunction or ADHD, or if there was, no one ever talked about it. This goes for many more forms of neurodivergence, as well as mental illness, but that’s another blog.

When I did start hearing about ADHD, there was always a focus on the “hyperactive” element. And while I may be many things, hyperactive is not one of them.

The first time I saw a social media meme describing executive dysfunction, I felt seen. I don’t actually ever use that phrase “felt seen,” but it seems appropriate here.

If I were to diagnose myself as having ADHD, I’d probably be wrong because I can spend hours in concentration if I’m into what I’m doing. But ask me where I put my keys or my phone and I go into a panicked search for them—usually when I’m already late getting out the door. Plus, and don’t tell anyone this, I can be really flakey.

Someone told me this was all a sign of an anxious but also creative mind. I’ll take that as a fact, but is it though?

Today is no exception

I wanted to do all the creative things: read, write, finally start knitting that sweater I have all the materials for. So far after being up for 8ish hours, this blog is what I’ve done. I’ve barely gotten off the couch. I did also watch yesterday’s episode of General Hospital and have been binging The Rookie Feds. The first because I’m obsessed—oh my god, what is Esme going to do?!—the second because it came on Hulu after GH and for whatever reason, I got hooked. I mean it does star the woman who was in Reno 911! so it has that going for it. It’s completely and totally unrealistic and great for escapism. In my defense, I have limited TV right now because my firestick with my local channels streaming service isn’t working and I don’t have the energy to go through all the other streaming apps we have to find something.

Since we’re here: do you have a favorite streaming service that has local channels and also Discovery Science but doesn’t need a firestick?

By the way, I don’t trust anyone who says they don’t watch TV.

Where was I?

Ah, yes, ADHD. You know what? I did some laundry today too. If I ever buy another house, one of my must-haves will be the laundry on the second floor. Ours is in the basement and I was just so happy to actually have my first washer and dryer since I lived at home (25+ yeas ago) that I didn’t care where it was. Rookie mistake.

Maybe we all just need a break

Since I haven’t worked in a job in over a month, I’m probably not the right person to say that perhaps I just need some total downtime without guilt. However, even though I haven’t been working in a job, I’ve been extremely busy. I probably do deserve to spend a day on the couch not doing anything I planned to get done. We all deserve that, right? Without feeling guilty about it.

But why is it so hard to do?

Diary of the temporarily unemployed

Posted on by Life is Surreal in musings, synchronicity, unemployment

(Featured Image: Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash)

I had really been needing a break so initially when I was laid off, I wasn’t mad. It’s funny because whenever one of my amazingly talented friends gets laid off, I tell them to enjoy it because it won’t last long. In creative fields, well nowadays in any field, layoffs are frighteningly common, so we’ve all come to expect, albeit dread, it. And at first, I was taking my own advice, my positive perspective no doubt coming from a generous severance package and leftover PTO–and of course, three weeks’ notice of termination date. 

It’s only temporary . . . probably.

Now this is not the first time I’ve been laid off, it’s the fifth. Even I was taken aback a bit when I realized how much it’s happened. But in my defense, three of the companies actually shut down. There is definitely fault to be attributed in those closures, but in these cases, it wasn’t mine. But we don’t need to visit that.

Well, there was the teaching fiasco

That’s another story altogether. Shout out to all my principals who fully supported me. If you’re doing the math, that’s three out of four of them. (I had to recheck my spelling of “principal” and to do so, I thought of the mnemonic device: “the principal is your pal.”) Principal number four was NOT my pal, and yes, I am still very very bitter about it.

Are you though, number 4, are you?

Post-exit strategy

This time around, I had big plans to work on my own writing and job search and do all the things I didn’t have the time or energy to do while I was working. I was going to create a structured day, because without structure, I’m pretty much useless. The plan included the gym, my own writing, looking for a job, getting marketing certifications, and the much-needed cleaning of the house.

I even thought about writing a column called, “Diary of the laid off,” which would, of course, have a much better title. (Note: despite the title of this blog, that column idea was fleeting.)

A rose by any other name . . .

The day before my last day, the gravity of the layoff hit me. When I told my therapist about it, he repeatedly referred to the situation as “being fired.” Even though it’s probably just semantics, I’m going to stick with “laid off” for all intents and purposes (as well as ego). I find termination to be a very harsh word as well, but I suppose there’s really no warm and fuzzy way to say your job is ending.

All of this made getting out of bed even harder than usual. But it also didn’t help that mornings are really cold now, the cats curl up next to me every morning, and I really didn’t have to stick to any schedule since without real obligations, I failed to set one up for myself.

What about the rest of my plans, you ask.

Three and a half weeks after my “termination date,” I’m writing the first thing other than resumes and cover letters. Now is probably a great time to shoutout my friend who gifted me time at a coworking space, which led to me meeting a woman who holds a writing group DURING THE DAY (you all know how I feel about going out at night). And today before I left for said coworking space and writing group, I cleaned the downstairs bathroom. I’m going to call all of this progress. I’ve also gotten two more marketing certifications and watched all the newest documentaries on cults. Have you seen the ones about Mother God? Fascinating.

I’m also spending probably way too much time at the gym, and if I had any self-control over my diet, I would be so muscular and sculpted right now. But you know, pasta and bread and tacos and New Haven takeout . . .  you get it. Why give up one of the few pleasures in life?

Mmmm . . . funnel cake.

I am getting much stronger though, between injuries, which is really the point of it all. But it’s also an awesome “f*ck you” to the trainer who told me I’d never be able to keep a workout routine on my own. I even went to the gym with a boot on when I broke my toe (also at the gym, see “This Little Piggie Went to the ER), and damn right I made sure he saw me there with it on.

Overall, the first two weeks were a mixed bag. Honestly, if it weren’t for the financial aspect, most of the time, I would have been enjoying the break. But being a responsible adult, saddled with grad school debt and all the other bills that adults have to pay to live, I couldn’t fully enjoy my unexpected free time.

Well, that was unexpected

I don’t know if you believe in synchronicity, but you probably should. Unless you don’t want to–really the choice is completely up to you. We have enough of the government telling us what we can and cannot do with our bodies and our sexuality, I would never tell you what to do and think. (Note: If you are a racist, homophobe, TERF, or xenophobe, I will certainly tell you what I think about what you do and think.)

Anyhow, the night before my last day at my abovementioned job, I applied to one that seemed like the perfect match. Ironically, it was my boss from the job I was leaving who shared the posting on LinkedIn. He had been let go a few months ago so if I said I wasn’t expecting my time to come, I’d be lying.

The very next morning, which coincided with my last day on the job, the HR department from the place I applied reached out to see if I could interview with them. I could. The following Thursday I drove up to the office and met with two people who I really enjoyed speaking with. The following Tuesday, HR reached back out to see if I could meet with one more person that Thursday. Of course, I could. Aside from the fact that mid-thought while answering a question, I totally forgot what I was talking about, I felt like it went pretty well. About an hour later, I got the job offer.

Right now, I am literally between jobs as I don’t start my new one for another month. I think this (paid) break is really good for me and I’m enjoying it. By the time it’s over, my house will even be a little cleaner.

That said, I’m incredibly excited for the next, and hopefully final, chapter of my career.

Sometimes the universe gives you the rather aggressive push you need to make a change.

Thanks, universe. And thank all of you who have helped me through this and beyond.

back to the office sort of

Posted on by Life is Surreal in musings

(photo: Volodymyr Proskurovskyi, Unsplash)

after almost four years of working from home, i worked in an office today. it’s a coworking place right downtown new haven and i’ll go one to two days a week. it was a weird feeling like being at a new job but without the anxiety of starting a new job. the best part is that i have no schedule there and can go and/or leave whenever i want. that said, i’m thankful for my set required working hours because when i freelanced and didn’t have that structure, i was way too distracted. in fact, i really sucked at it.

i think this is a great investment for my mental health and overall wellbeing. let’s take a look at the cons and pros. cons first because, well you know.

CONS

there are people

i probably can’t wear my pj bottoms and sweats

there are endless food choices in walking distance

i may drink entirely too much iced coffee (but really, is that even a thing?)

it’s hard for me to work without my 2nd screen

there are no cats

parking costs money and i had one hell of a learning curve today trying to exit the garage

after work i have to drive home before flopping on the couch

i have to get up even earlier to get to the gym and shower before work (which doesn’t always happen in that order when i work from home)

PROS

there are people

these people are incredibly ambitious and creative

i can wear all those clothes (and shoes!) i bought before covid

there are endless food choices in walking distance

they sell little portable laptop monitors

there are no cats, specifically orange ones, who headbutt my hand and mouse constantly and also try to sit on the laptop

the office has a ton of natural light

it’s in a great part of new haven

it is right next to a good coffee shop and around the corner from elm street market (which is also the door to the parking garage)

on the days i’m there i may actually stop working at the end of work day rather than loosing track of time and the it’s 6pm

if i can’t live in the middle if a city, at least i can work there

Posted on by Life is Surreal in musings, social media, Tarot

Hi, friends. Remember in an previous post when I mentioned that we were heading into Mercury Retrograde? No shit, right? Let me tell you that yesterday was a day! I won’t go into details, but it was seriously out of whack. So this morning to prepare myself, I pulled the cards and asked: What should I be aware of today? And what should I do to handle it? For the spread I used Fifth Spirit Tarot.

I’m not going to share what I saw for myself because believe it or not, it’s not really something I want out there. But I can tell you that those freakin’ cards were right on as usual. Feel free to share your interpretation!

LET’S try to be social

About an hour ago, my husband asked me if anyone uses SnapChat anymore. I don’t know, do they? I tried it for a week or so when it first launched, and I did it entirely for the filters, which I got bored of rather quickly. They were pretty cool, but my attention span is pretty short. And why would I want something I post to disappear in a few hours? Okay, I can think of a few reasons, but overall, not so much.

But then again, I still mostly use Facebook, which is a good indication of my age group. I occasionally post on Instagram, the frequency being another indication of my age group.

And that got me thinking about social media platforms.

I miss LiveJournal. I just looked it up to see if it still exists, and it does! Who knew! It was because of this platform and MySpace (yeah, I said it), that I got to know so many people in New Haven and on the goth scene. Of course, there was also a club called Flux and some very strong drinks poured by a wonderful bartender named Michael.

Remember the MySpace top 10? How many arguments did that cause? I can think of one very large one in my house.

For work, among other things, I’m a social media manager so I have taken certification classes and seminars and know quite a bit about it. Except TikTok. I mean, I can use it and I can run ads on it pretty successfully, but I cannot for the life of me figure out its algorithm. I only have a work account and I’m pretty much the only person who uses it so I have to wonder why (Why?!) some of the videos show up in my “For you” feed. Like this. And also like this. As I was scrolling to find examples, I came across one of those videos that you have to check the comments to understand what’s going on. All I’ll say is that it featured a fisherman taking caviar out of a very dead, yet not entirely still, fish. Now I have to go watch a ton of cat videos to get that out of my head. I’m not going to share it here, you’re welcome.

That’s the “For You” on my work account. We’re an esoteric book publisher.

I also use Twitter, I mean X, for work, but it’s kind of a cesspit. Even though I clearly love outbound links for SEO purposes, I’m not going to link this platform. I mean, why bother? The work accounts I follow are great, but some of the others, not so much. I am trying to remember when it launched–was it so confusing to use? I feel like the notification feature is a complete mess and sometimes I can’t even find the original post that the commentors are commenting on. Is it me?

I heard they had to take down the huge flashing X they put atop HQ because it gave people seizures. Need I say more?

*Note I did fact check that last statement and really it was a permit issue and not a seizure issue, and I guess that pretty much sums up the whole X debacle as well.

Maybe someday I’ll try Threads. You?

once upon a time there was no internet

And we walked to school in the snow uphill both ways without shoes.

The previous sentence isn’t true, although I did grow up in upstate New York where no one, at least at that time, had ever heard of a snow day.

Anyhow, I was reminded of the power of the internet and social media today during a discussion (on social media) about Rudy Guiliani of all people. I had shared a photo of a signed copy of the book he wrote. It literally says, “To Gia,” but I didn’t get it myself. That said, I thought it was an awesome gift. You can look up the book if you want, but there’s no need to give it any additional attention here.

Now, I know the Rudy of the last few years, but I also remember how he became a figurehead after 9/11, and I thought he did a really great job. I couldn’t understand what happened. And then, in the comments under the photo, I leaned a whole lot more about past Rudy that makes today’s Rudy a natural progression.

This isn’t about Rudy though, it’s about me not realizing these things were going on behind the scenes. I can definitely chalk some of it up to being self-absorbed in my teens and twenties (in the depressed, not vain way, although there was probably some of the latter too) and also privilege. But even back then I was pretty socially conscious. But I really think most of it was not having access to social media and all the sources now available online. Of course, American Online launched about that time and it offered all sorts of chat rooms, but did anyone use it for anything else? If you even had internet. For real, think about it–how limited was the information we had daily access to back then, for better or for worse. These weren’t the kinds of things you could look up in that set of encyclopedias your parents bought one by one from the supermarket.

I think I should step away from the keyboard now. Thank you for sticking with me to this point. May the happenings of Mercury Retrograde be in your favor.

I feel compelled to tell you

I did indeed spend way too much time obsessing about a hotel for Saturday after cancelling my room and actually found and booked one for $262 total. In Hell’s Kitchen no less–which is very different than the Hell’s Kitchen when I lived in the city, as is most of NYC.

Dancing in the Uncomfortable Zone

Posted on by Life is Surreal in musings

For those of you who have been following along and already know that I can’t do anything outside of my comfort zone without overthinking, overplanning, and just neurotically obsessing (and for those of you who know now), I’m cancelling my Pod 51 hotel room (which I rebooked for $28 less and will re-cancel). I figured out that I would have to work about 18 hours at the festival to just cover the hotel and sure I can do it, but I’m cheap, I mean frugal, and since I probably won’t be working that many hours, I would essentially be paying to work. I am going for the experience and not the money, but paying to work is just kind of stupid (insert my mother’s “I told you so”). If I want to pay that kind of money, I’ll just buy a 1-day ticket and not work at all. More on why I am not doing that below.

Final decision: work all day Saturday, take the train home, repeat on Sunday. Sleep all day Monday.

I summed that up nicely in one sentence, but it took many more sentences for me to finally decide on the final-ish plan. Shout out to the friends who endured that with me and also to you all for sticking with this blog.

Anyhow, after making my decision to cancel but before I actually did it, I thought I’d see what the cards said.

I asked: What is my current situation and what should I do? I used the Midnight City Tarot because it seemed appropriate.

Interpretation: The first card is telling me that I shouldn’t spend the money on the hotel room especially since we are having our electrical panel replaced this weekend (owning a home sucks), and there are a whole lot of other things I want to spend it on that are more fun than renting a bed and bathroom for about 7 hours during which I would mostly be asleep. The second is telling me not to go forward with my hotel plans and instead, get this, to take the train home. I mean there’s literally a train station in the image.

Thanks again, universe, for your voice of logic and cheapness.

This whole thing is kind of weird because usually I’ll take any opportunity to go to New York. I’d love to spend a night and/or stay forever.

And I’ve worked at festivals and events before (see flyers below I dug up yesterday along with a whole lot of memories, good and bad, while going through the boxes our flooded basement ruined–remember what I said about being a homeowner). I actually prefer to work than just attend. I get bored and sleepy really easily if I’m just hanging out. No offense to the friends I go with, you are super awesome to be around, I’m just really tired.

This one, though, is way out of my comfort zone because I’ll be alone and also coming home pretty late on the train. And I have no idea what to wear! I mean, seriously, what do I wear? To make it more uncomfortable, I’m not really familiar with the scene, other than my Spotify lists, which I do listen to all the time. Yeah it’s an EDM festival. If you smell smoke, it’s just my goth card on fire in the corner.

But I am going and am very thankful to the friend who shared the opportunity with me. I’m still going to overthink and overplan, and if you think I’m not going to keep looking for that perfect hotel deal, you’re clearly not paying attention.

So tell me, what are some of the things you’ve done outside of your comfort zone?

What did you do to calm your anxiety?

How did it work out?

I want to know for real. That said, if it kind of sucked, maybe hold off on telling me until Monday.

I read something that said, “Life begins where you’re comfort zone ends,” and I think we can all agree that whoever wrote that is an idiot.

Oh hi, Mercury Retrograde

Posted on by Life is Surreal in musings, Tarot

I figured that if I were going to get back to blogging, a Tarot spread for the start of Mercury Retrograde would be a good place to begin. Of course, that means I should have a greater understanding of what Mercury Retrograde is, especially because I now work for an occult book publisher (yay back in publishing and in a genre so perfect for me!). But if I’m being honest here–and I am mostly always honest in my blogging for better or for worse–I don’t get astrology at all. It’s entirely too complicated for me. I do know, however, that Mercury Retrograde can be bad.

(Note: If you’d like to learn more about this retrograde astrological event, check out this article on Today.com by our friend Lisa Stardust.)

So as I try to revisit my Tarot practice, which I’ve been slacking on for about 30 years (see, honesty), I’m taking you with me. Are you excited? Here we go.

Spread: Mercury Retrograde by Owl and Bones Tarot
Deck: Not So Mystical Tarot by Jenn (who I credit totally for getting me back into the practice after taking her class, which you should all take)

*Note, if you happen to follow me on Instagram and you look at my grid, you’ll see that the photo directly below the post featuring the above photos is also of The Tower. Because of course it is.

Card 1: What could you rethink?

The Tower: How I think: Everything is terrible! It’s absolute chaos! It is the worst possible scenario of all the things that can ever happen! Anxiety is my brand.

Card 2: What could you redo?

5 of Swords: How I respond to certain situations that will not be mentioned here: Self-pity, worried about what others think, jumping to conclusions, taking my ball and going home because my feelings are hurt over something that really (or usually) is only in my head

Card 3: What could you reconnect with?

5 of Pentacles: The part of myself that refuses to be a drama queen or martyr, my confidence, self-esteem, my energy (I mean this quite literally, I’m always exhausted.)

Card 4: What could be reevaluated?

8 of Cups: The way I spend my free time and also the way I get mad at myself when I just want to watch tv or play games

First I ask again, why do the cards always give me the same type of message? I see you, universe, I do, but surely you have other things to tell me. (We’ll discuss synchronicities at a later time–insert shameless plug for book, which features an entire chapter on that very topic.)

Now my takeaway: I need to stop panicking over pretty much everything and stop feeling sorry for myself for not doing the things I want to do. Don’t get me wrong, self, lying around playing Bingo and Toon Blast is a great way to relax, but maybe do a little more of some other things. Write, skate, knit, do more deadlifts (although not until your neck injury is fully healed) . . . maybe even finish painting your bathroom (did you hear that, Mom?). Something.

That seems to be an appropriate message going into Retrograde. And to be fair to myself, I have kind of already started. Look, I’m blogging!

Oh and don’t you worry. There will be plenty of blogs moving forward filled with panic and self-pity and just general angst. I mean, have you met me? Have you read the book? (Doh!)

Did I just age myself with a Homer Simpson reference even though it’s a really good reference? Am I going to age myself over and over again? Wait until I start talking about my arthritis and my CPAP machine.

But hey, feel free to tell me all about what ails you as well. I am at that age where aches and pains are the subject of many of my conversations–with other people as well as myself. And angst for all! (Not that I wish it on you, but if you don’t have any, tell me how you do it!)

Did I mention I have a computer pen now so I can actually draw for you too?! How lucky are you! Maybe one day I’ll show you my drawing of an alien abduction, which I drew during a really boring meeting years ago, that my very best friend framed and hung on her wall. It’s still there decades later. I love her. But not just for that.

Welcome aboard, friends, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Oh and by the way, I am a Leo.

Shut up and Write Memoir 2

Posted on by Life is Surreal in musings, Shut Up and Write Challenge

Prompt:

Write a scene that paints a picture for your reader about a memorable trip in your life. Use the following questions to create a sense of forward movement in this scene:

  • Were you traveling solo or with others?
  • Where did you go and how did it feel?
  • What was your greatest learning experience from your trip?

I’m going to stray from the topic a bit and talk about a future memory. The Electric Daisy Carnival.

The first time I heard about EDC, I wanted to go. I missed raved culture by a couple of years, but have always loved EDM and dancing. And neon lights. And festivals. Even the glowsticks. Yes, I said it.

I am obsessed with Michael Alig’s story and Disco Bloodbath and Party Monster and all that. I only went to the Limelight once because I wasn’t yet 21 and my fake ID was terrible. The Limelight cared. The Tunnel on the other hand, did not. And for a suburban girl new to living in NYC during the late 80s/early 90s, well, talk about culture shock. But that shock in no way overshadowed the  pure joy alongside the realization that I was home. I would later return home to the suburbs, but that is a different story with a less joyfully narrative. (Buy the book.) 

As far as Michael goes, there is a slight possibility we were both at the Tunnel during my final year in Manhattan, but he was in the super secret part that a suburban-born, shy college girl didn’t have access to. That was me – I was the suburban-born, shy college student.

The sad truth is that I didn’t even know any of that was going on until I saw the movie “Party Monster.” And while I went to clubs ALL the time (sorry, Mom and Dad) and they were wild, it was nothing like in the movie. 

Please note:

  1. This all happened before there was the internet.
  2. I am not glorifying Michael Alig at all but Club kids are AMAZING.
    1. Although I do have a little crush on how Mac Culkin played the part. And Chloe Sevigny…

Anyhow, where were we? Oh yes…

EDC travels around the world, but the main event is in Vegas. I never went because it’s expensive and if we really get down to it, I’m not all that adventurous. I have been to Vegas several times wit family, but each time they made me look like a tired, old lady – which is now an accurate description of me.

The point: Shortly after my brother passed, tickets for EDC Vegas went on sale. I bough some. I thought my brother would be proud of me finally doing something I was always talking about because I talked a lot about things and never did them and that drove him nuts. And . . .Vegas, a place he loved possibly more than I did.

Very, very long story short: I ended up cancelling my tickets. See above where I tell you I’m not all that adventurous. I wasn’t lying. But then COVID hit and the whole thing didn’t matter any more any way.

All that said and again saving you most of the details, I now have EDC Orlando tickets for November. It’s not as big as EDC Vegas but:

  1. It’s cheap.
  2. It’s easier to get to.
  3. It’s near Disney, which is helping me bribe my husband to go with me. 
  4. Most importantly: Rather than starting at 7:30 pm, it starts at 1. In the afternoon. It’s over by 1 am. Not only am I not-so-adventurous, I am useless past 8 pm and possibly asleep.
    1. Also note that when I first got the Vegas tickets, I didn’t realize that all the day activities were a completely separate ticket and involved camping (or more so glamping). I also didn’t realize how much traffic awaits at the entrance even if you stay close by. And who goes to Vegas unless they stay on the strip? Come on, now. 

So there you have it. My future memory involves EDC Orlando. One of my friends who is way more adventurous than I am is also going. It’s going to be awesome. And I may even get to meet Winnie-the-Pooh. I mean when go to Disney as opposed to if I were to take any psychedelic drugs at the festival, which I won’t be.

FYI, If you are curious as to whether or not there are articles on the internet about 50+ year olds going to EDC and being accepted and having fun, there are. You’re welcome.