Author: Giacarla

i write stuff.

Once upon a time, there was no internet. . .

Posted on by Giacarla in musings, social media, Tarot

Hi, friends. Remember in an previous post when I mentioned that we were heading into Mercury Retrograde? No shit, right? Let me tell you that yesterday was a day! I won’t go into details, but it was seriously out of whack. So this morning to prepare myself, I pulled the cards and asked: What should I be aware of today? And what should I do to handle it? For the spread I used Fifth Spirit Tarot.

I’m not going to share what I saw for myself because believe it or not, it’s not really something I want out there. But I can tell you that those freakin’ cards were right on as usual. Feel free to share your interpretation!

LET’S try to be social

About an hour ago, my husband asked me if anyone uses SnapChat anymore. I don’t know, do they? I tried it for a week or so when it first launched, and I did it entirely for the filters, which I got bored of rather quickly. They were pretty cool, but my attention span is pretty short. And why would I want something I post to disappear in a few hours? Okay, I can think of a few reasons, but overall, not so much.

But then again, I still mostly use Facebook, which is a good indication of my age group. I occasionally post on Instagram, the frequency being another indication of my age group.

And that got me thinking about social media platforms.

I miss LiveJournal. I just looked it up to see if it still exists, and it does! Who knew! It was because of this platform and MySpace (yeah, I said it), that I got to know so many people in New Haven and on the goth scene. Of course, there was also a club called Flux and some very strong drinks poured by a wonderful bartender named Michael.

Remember the MySpace top 10? How many arguments did that cause? I can think of one very large one in my house.

For work, among other things, I’m a social media manager so I have taken certification classes and seminars and know quite a bit about it. Except TikTok. I mean, I can use it and I can run ads on it pretty successfully, but I cannot for the life of me figure out its algorithm. I only have a work account and I’m pretty much the only person who uses it so I have to wonder why (Why?!) some of the videos show up in my “For you” feed. Like this. And also like this. As I was scrolling to find examples, I came across one of those videos that you have to check the comments to understand what’s going on. All I’ll say is that it featured a fisherman taking caviar out of a very dead, yet not entirely still, fish. Now I have to go watch a ton of cat videos to get that out of my head. I’m not going to share it here, you’re welcome.

That’s the “For You” on my work account. We’re an esoteric book publisher.

I also use Twitter, I mean X, for work, but it’s kind of a cesspit. Even though I clearly love outbound links for SEO purposes, I’m not going to link this platform. I mean, why bother? The work accounts I follow are great, but some of the others, not so much. I am trying to remember when it launched–was it so confusing to use? I feel like the notification feature is a complete mess and sometimes I can’t even find the original post that the commentors are commenting on. Is it me?

I heard they had to take down the huge flashing X they put atop HQ because it gave people seizures. Need I say more?

*Note I did fact check that last statement and really it was a permit issue and not a seizure issue, and I guess that pretty much sums up the whole X debacle as well.

Maybe someday I’ll try Threads. You?

once upon a time there was no internet

And we walked to school in the snow uphill both ways without shoes.

The previous sentence isn’t true, although I did grow up in upstate New York where no one, at least at that time, had ever heard of a snow day.

Anyhow, I was reminded of the power of the internet and social media today during a discussion (on social media) about Rudy Guiliani of all people. I had shared a photo of a signed copy of the book he wrote. It literally says, “To Gia,” but I didn’t get it myself. That said, I thought it was an awesome gift. You can look up the book if you want, but there’s no need to give it any additional attention here.

Now, I know the Rudy of the last few years, but I also remember how he became a figurehead after 9/11, and I thought he did a really great job. I couldn’t understand what happened. And then, in the comments under the photo, I leaned a whole lot more about past Rudy that makes today’s Rudy a natural progression.

This isn’t about Rudy though, it’s about me not realizing these things were going on behind the scenes. I can definitely chalk some of it up to being self-absorbed in my teens and twenties (in the depressed, not vain way, although there was probably some of the latter too) and also privilege. But even back then I was pretty socially conscious. But I really think most of it was not having access to social media and all the sources now available online. Of course, American Online launched about that time and it offered all sorts of chat rooms, but did anyone use it for anything else? If you even had internet. For real, think about it–how limited was the information we had daily access to back then, for better or for worse. These weren’t the kinds of things you could look up in that set of encyclopedias your parents bought one by one from the supermarket.

I think I should step away from the keyboard now. Thank you for sticking with me to this point. May the happenings of Mercury Retrograde be in your favor.

I feel compelled to tell you

I did indeed spend way too much time obsessing about a hotel for Saturday after cancelling my room and actually found and booked one for $262 total. In Hell’s Kitchen no less–which is very different than the Hell’s Kitchen when I lived in the city, as is most of NYC.

Dancing in the Uncomfortable Zone

Posted on by Giacarla in musings

For those of you who have been following along and already know that I can’t do anything outside of my comfort zone without overthinking, overplanning, and just neurotically obsessing (and for those of you who know now), I’m cancelling my Pod 51 hotel room (which I rebooked for $28 less and will re-cancel). I figured out that I would have to work about 18 hours at the festival to just cover the hotel and sure I can do it, but I’m cheap, I mean frugal, and since I probably won’t be working that many hours, I would essentially be paying to work. I am going for the experience and not the money, but paying to work is just kind of stupid (insert my mother’s “I told you so”). If I want to pay that kind of money, I’ll just buy a 1-day ticket and not work at all. More on why I am not doing that below.

Final decision: work all day Saturday, take the train home, repeat on Sunday. Sleep all day Monday.

I summed that up nicely in one sentence, but it took many more sentences for me to finally decide on the final-ish plan. Shout out to the friends who endured that with me and also to you all for sticking with this blog.

Anyhow, after making my decision to cancel but before I actually did it, I thought I’d see what the cards said.

I asked: What is my current situation and what should I do? I used the Midnight City Tarot because it seemed appropriate.

Interpretation: The first card is telling me that I shouldn’t spend the money on the hotel room especially since we are having our electrical panel replaced this weekend (owning a home sucks), and there are a whole lot of other things I want to spend it on that are more fun than renting a bed and bathroom for about 7 hours during which I would mostly be asleep. The second is telling me not to go forward with my hotel plans and instead, get this, to take the train home. I mean there’s literally a train station in the image.

Thanks again, universe, for your voice of logic and cheapness.

This whole thing is kind of weird because usually I’ll take any opportunity to go to New York. I’d love to spend a night and/or stay forever.

And I’ve worked at festivals and events before (see flyers below I dug up yesterday along with a whole lot of memories, good and bad, while going through the boxes our flooded basement ruined–remember what I said about being a homeowner). I actually prefer to work than just attend. I get bored and sleepy really easily if I’m just hanging out. No offense to the friends I go with, you are super awesome to be around, I’m just really tired.

This one, though, is way out of my comfort zone because I’ll be alone and also coming home pretty late on the train. And I have no idea what to wear! I mean, seriously, what do I wear? To make it more uncomfortable, I’m not really familiar with the scene, other than my Spotify lists, which I do listen to all the time. Yeah it’s an EDM festival. If you smell smoke, it’s just my goth card on fire in the corner.

But I am going and am very thankful to the friend who shared the opportunity with me. I’m still going to overthink and overplan, and if you think I’m not going to keep looking for that perfect hotel deal, you’re clearly not paying attention.

So tell me, what are some of the things you’ve done outside of your comfort zone?

What did you do to calm your anxiety?

How did it work out?

I want to know for real. That said, if it kind of sucked, maybe hold off on telling me until Monday.

I read something that said, “Life begins where you’re comfort zone ends,” and I think we can all agree that whoever wrote that is an idiot.

Oh hi, Mercury Retrograde

Posted on by Giacarla in musings, Tarot

I figured that if I were going to get back to blogging, a Tarot spread for the start of Mercury Retrograde would be a good place to begin. Of course, that means I should have a greater understanding of what Mercury Retrograde is, especially because I now work for an occult book publisher (yay back in publishing and in a genre so perfect for me!). But if I’m being honest here–and I am mostly always honest in my blogging for better or for worse–I don’t get astrology at all. It’s entirely too complicated for me. I do know, however, that Mercury Retrograde can be bad.

(Note: If you’d like to learn more about this retrograde astrological event, check out this article on Today.com by our friend Lisa Stardust.)

So as I try to revisit my Tarot practice, which I’ve been slacking on for about 30 years (see, honesty), I’m taking you with me. Are you excited? Here we go.

Spread: Mercury Retrograde by Owl and Bones Tarot
Deck: Not So Mystical Tarot by Jenn (who I credit totally for getting me back into the practice after taking her class, which you should all take)

*Note, if you happen to follow me on Instagram and you look at my grid, you’ll see that the photo directly below the post featuring the above photos is also of The Tower. Because of course it is.

Card 1: What could you rethink?

The Tower: How I think: Everything is terrible! It’s absolute chaos! It is the worst possible scenario of all the things that can ever happen! Anxiety is my brand.

Card 2: What could you redo?

5 of Swords: How I respond to certain situations that will not be mentioned here: Self-pity, worried about what others think, jumping to conclusions, taking my ball and going home because my feelings are hurt over something that really (or usually) is only in my head

Card 3: What could you reconnect with?

5 of Pentacles: The part of myself that refuses to be a drama queen or martyr, my confidence, self-esteem, my energy (I mean this quite literally, I’m always exhausted.)

Card 4: What could be reevaluated?

8 of Cups: The way I spend my free time and also the way I get mad at myself when I just want to watch tv or play games

First I ask again, why do the cards always give me the same type of message? I see you, universe, I do, but surely you have other things to tell me. (We’ll discuss synchronicities at a later time–insert shameless plug for book, which features an entire chapter on that very topic.)

Now my takeaway: I need to stop panicking over pretty much everything and stop feeling sorry for myself for not doing the things I want to do. Don’t get me wrong, self, lying around playing Bingo and Toon Blast is a great way to relax, but maybe do a little more of some other things. Write, skate, knit, do more deadlifts (although not until your neck injury is fully healed) . . . maybe even finish painting your bathroom (did you hear that, Mom?). Something.

That seems to be an appropriate message going into Retrograde. And to be fair to myself, I have kind of already started. Look, I’m blogging!

Oh and don’t you worry. There will be plenty of blogs moving forward filled with panic and self-pity and just general angst. I mean, have you met me? Have you read the book? (Doh!)

Did I just age myself with a Homer Simpson reference even though it’s a really good reference? Am I going to age myself over and over again? Wait until I start talking about my arthritis and my CPAP machine.

But hey, feel free to tell me all about what ails you as well. I am at that age where aches and pains are the subject of many of my conversations–with other people as well as myself. And angst for all! (Not that I wish it on you, but if you don’t have any, tell me how you do it!)

Did I mention I have a computer pen now so I can actually draw for you too?! How lucky are you! Maybe one day I’ll show you my drawing of an alien abduction, which I drew during a really boring meeting years ago, that my very best friend framed and hung on her wall. It’s still there decades later. I love her. But not just for that.

Welcome aboard, friends, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Oh and by the way, I am a Leo.

Shut up and Write Memoir 2

Posted on by Giacarla in musings, Shut Up and Write Challenge

Prompt:

Write a scene that paints a picture for your reader about a memorable trip in your life. Use the following questions to create a sense of forward movement in this scene:

  • Were you traveling solo or with others?
  • Where did you go and how did it feel?
  • What was your greatest learning experience from your trip?

I’m going to stray from the topic a bit and talk about a future memory. The Electric Daisy Carnival.

The first time I heard about EDC, I wanted to go. I missed raved culture by a couple of years, but have always loved EDM and dancing. And neon lights. And festivals. Even the glowsticks. Yes, I said it.

I am obsessed with Michael Alig’s story and Disco Bloodbath and Party Monster and all that. I only went to the Limelight once because I wasn’t yet 21 and my fake ID was terrible. The Limelight cared. The Tunnel on the other hand, did not. And for a suburban girl new to living in NYC during the late 80s/early 90s, well, talk about culture shock. But that shock in no way overshadowed the  pure joy alongside the realization that I was home. I would later return home to the suburbs, but that is a different story with a less joyfully narrative. (Buy the book.) 

As far as Michael goes, there is a slight possibility we were both at the Tunnel during my final year in Manhattan, but he was in the super secret part that a suburban-born, shy college girl didn’t have access to. That was me – I was the suburban-born, shy college student.

The sad truth is that I didn’t even know any of that was going on until I saw the movie “Party Monster.” And while I went to clubs ALL the time (sorry, Mom and Dad) and they were wild, it was nothing like in the movie. 

Please note:

  1. This all happened before there was the internet.
  2. I am not glorifying Michael Alig at all but Club kids are AMAZING.
    1. Although I do have a little crush on how Mac Culkin played the part. And Chloe Sevigny…

Anyhow, where were we? Oh yes…

EDC travels around the world, but the main event is in Vegas. I never went because it’s expensive and if we really get down to it, I’m not all that adventurous. I have been to Vegas several times wit family, but each time they made me look like a tired, old lady – which is now an accurate description of me.

The point: Shortly after my brother passed, tickets for EDC Vegas went on sale. I bough some. I thought my brother would be proud of me finally doing something I was always talking about because I talked a lot about things and never did them and that drove him nuts. And . . .Vegas, a place he loved possibly more than I did.

Very, very long story short: I ended up cancelling my tickets. See above where I tell you I’m not all that adventurous. I wasn’t lying. But then COVID hit and the whole thing didn’t matter any more any way.

All that said and again saving you most of the details, I now have EDC Orlando tickets for November. It’s not as big as EDC Vegas but:

  1. It’s cheap.
  2. It’s easier to get to.
  3. It’s near Disney, which is helping me bribe my husband to go with me. 
  4. Most importantly: Rather than starting at 7:30 pm, it starts at 1. In the afternoon. It’s over by 1 am. Not only am I not-so-adventurous, I am useless past 8 pm and possibly asleep.
    1. Also note that when I first got the Vegas tickets, I didn’t realize that all the day activities were a completely separate ticket and involved camping (or more so glamping). I also didn’t realize how much traffic awaits at the entrance even if you stay close by. And who goes to Vegas unless they stay on the strip? Come on, now. 

So there you have it. My future memory involves EDC Orlando. One of my friends who is way more adventurous than I am is also going. It’s going to be awesome. And I may even get to meet Winnie-the-Pooh. I mean when go to Disney as opposed to if I were to take any psychedelic drugs at the festival, which I won’t be.

FYI, If you are curious as to whether or not there are articles on the internet about 50+ year olds going to EDC and being accepted and having fun, there are. You’re welcome.

Shut up and write memoir 1

Posted on by Giacarla in musings, Shut Up and Write Challenge

Prompt:

Let’s go way back and think about our very first relationships in life—our childhood best friends. Who were you closest with as a child? Were they schoolmates, neighborhood friends, or cousins?

Today, we’ll spend our writing time answering the following questions:

How did you meet your closest childhood buddies?

What did you all do to spend your time?

Did you ever get into any trouble?

So here’s the thing about my childhood friends – or more so my childhood in general: I don’t really remember much of it. I am 51 so I can blame it on old(ish) age or the idea that all of my later in life experiences (12+) have taken up all the spots in my memory, pushing the oldest ones out. I can also blame it on the anxiety and depression meds I’ve been on for about 20 years. Or even just the anxiety as I hear that can cause memory loss. But, I can sit here and guess at the reason all night, but it’s not going to help get any of my childhood memories back. So what I’m going about are some experiences that are sporadic at best. 

Rochester

When I was really little, 5 and under, we lived in Rochester, NY. These were the days before people needed fences. Actually I just made that up. Maybe people did have fences back then, but in my limited 0-5 years old experience, they did not. Our backyard blended with not only our neighbors’ on either side, but also with the ones in back. My grandma lived a few yards down and my mother’s very good friend, Val, lived right behind us. Or possibly slightly diagonal from us. Val had two sons: Jay, who was my age, and Danny, who was younger. Jay was my best friend and I believe my first boyfriend – as if any child 5 and under has any business having a boyfriend. In fact, PSA: Stop perpetuating the idea that little kids have boyfriends/girlfriends – people worry about children being exposed to relationships in the LGBTQ+ community because they are too young to see that kind of love, but as soon as they can talk, y’all asking them if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. What’s the difference? Stop it. Love is love. People are who they are. Having boyfriend or girlfriend is not an end-all so stop forcing that on people of all ages! End rant. Anyhow, I vaguely remember Jay’s living room, but everything else is pretty much gone. 

I also remember someone having a swing set – quite possibly Jay and Danny – and me chasing after someone older that I had a crush on (determined by me, not adults) under one of the swings while it was swinging. He got through, I did not. It’s almost comforting to know  that awkwardness and clumsiness have always been a part of my “cute and quirky” personality and that it didn’t spring out of nowhere as I got older. Anyhow, I want to say that his name was Timmy and he took me and my bleeding lip to my mom and apologized profusely. But I cannot for the life of me remember who this kid was, where he lived, or how I knew him. Did I mention my imaginary (or so I was told) friend Christopher Robin or that time my grandfather accidentally sat on him at the dinner table and ruined my entire Thanksgiving. Anyway, I’m (pretty) sure Timmy, or whatever his name was, was an actual person.

I went to Walt Disney Elementary, which had Disney characters painted on the walls. I can still see them. I’m also envisioning child hall monitors, and maybe I was even one when I was in kindergarten. I think I threw up on the bus or in class one day, but that shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone as to this day, I am known for randomly throwing up in public. Just another one of my life-long “cute and quirky, aka really gross” traits. It’s great. We drove by that school a lot when we went back to Rochester to visit my grandmothers. 

Syracuse

I think we moved to Syracuse, NY, when I was 5, but I only remember somewhere between first and third grade. I remember my classroom, the classroom next to it where we would sometimes watch movies and also some science shows, I think. I remember how the bathrooms were. We lived there until I was about 12 and I can’t remember anything else about the school or friends.

My best friend, Linda, lived next door. Her parents were from Italy and cooked all the time. We would go over there for Christmas Eve for a full Italian-Christmas meal, most of which I wouldn’t touch today – being a wannabe vegan and all. They would send Linda and I to bed when it got late and we would try to stay awake, listening to the Santa tracker, and waiting to hear him on the roof. I always woke up in my own bed early Christmas morning. I may or may not have also begged my parents to let me stay up and go to Midnight Mass with them. Another thing I wouldn’t do now – partly because I am no longer Catholic, mostly because that’s just too late. 

Tracy lived diagonally from Linda and had a huge Weeping Willow tree in her yard. Or maybe that was in the yard next door. Wherever it was, we used to sit under it.  Tracy had hermit crabs and her dad collected clocks. They were all over the house (the clocks, not the crabs) and when I slept over, they kept me awake. So much ticking. So much ringing. Maybe that is what drove Tracy to her addiction to dog biscuits. Sure, I ate them when he offered because I wanted her to think I was cool, but they were really really gross. Sometimes we would sleep in a tent in her backyard and that was the best. One day when we were sitting in the clock-filled family room, Tracy’s mom came in and to us she had just played the greatest game. It was Pac Man. We had no idea what she was talking about. Tracy later moved to Connecticut, which is where I would end up, but we never reconnected.

Heather lived a bit down the street and her older sister listened to cool bands like Rainbow and the Cars. I still remember how I felt whenever I hear the song “Bye, Bye Love.” A Cars video taught me that sometimes people kiss with their tongues. Much later, my mom saw Rick Ocasek and his supermodel wife getting out of a taxi in New York City.

We all played flashlight tag and made a slip and slide down the small hill between our and Linda’s house. We rode our bikes all over the neighborhood and our parents had no problem with that. It was the late 70s, early 80s and an entirely different time. 

One Halloween, my cousin, who I had been really close to and who would come stay a week at a time with us, and I created a haunted house for my parents. Lauren hid under the bed in the spare room and grabbed my mother’s ankles as she walked by. My mother was about 8 months pregnant at the time and said that we almost caused her to have the baby right there. 

And then…

When I was about 12 we moved again and then to Connecticut when I was 14. I have quite a few not-so-pleasant memories of that time between 12 and 14 and the people surrounding it. I’m hoping that someday I won’t remember those and the earlier ones will come back. As far 14+, well, that’s a much more colorful story, but a different story altogether. And for that one, you’ll have to buy my book.

Posted on by Giacarla in Uncategorized

a year ago today, around this time, i got a phone call that i never thought i would get. i actually thought it was my dad calling to make fun of me for second-guessing buying sports court tiles because i’m neurotic like that. it was my dad but instead it was something that would shatter life as i knew it and change me forever. not a day goes by that i am not devastated, angry, regretful, and so many other feelings. i love and miss you so much, Steven, my baby brother who i always looked up to. i hope the fishing and cars are good up there and that there’s a really scary rollercoaster that you can convince me to go on as well as other dumb-ass adventures. until then…

fuck it.

Posted on by Giacarla in musings, Uncategorized

i gained 3.4 lbs when i weighed into weight watchers today. i haven’t eaten great this week, but i have worked out a lot. i was pretty bummed, although admittedly it’s more because i want to reach goal and stop paying for meetings that do work for me mostly. but you know what? fuck it. it’s just a setback.

this morning i received heartbreaking news that an old friend had passed yesterday. she was in her late 30s and a beautiful person. when i was told, i couldn’t even process when the name was mentioned. how is her being gone even possible?

the point, as cliche as it is, is that it really is important to enjoy life no matter what it throws at you. because it is beautiful and a gift and we never know how long we’ll have. this doesn’t mean that sometimes it doesn’t completely totally suck and we can’t recognize this and even complain. it just means we should keep in mind that it will pass. even if it takes a while. and there will always be something that isn’t horrible going on at the same time.

keep your head up. and when you don’t feel like it, allow those feelings. but recognize even the tiniest things of happiness and love.

rip, beth.

“i would have run right in there . . .”

Posted on by Giacarla in musings

true story.

when i was about 16 i worked at gardening/home store called flower time. one night a guy came in and up to my register. with one hand in his jacket pocket, he reached over to my register and very calmly said, “i’m just going to take this.” i put my hand over the money not realizing what was happening. when i figured it out, i moved my hand. there was a long line of customers when this happened. they all just watched.

now the point.

about a week later, some big guy came into the store and to my register. he said, “hey, were you the girl who got robbed a few weeks ago? i was in line and saw the whole thing. if it had been me, i would have jumped on the guy . . .”

what do you think the moral of this story is?

 

to roller derby or not to roller derby…

Posted on by Giacarla in musings

okay, guys, it’s that time of the year again when i try to put all my anxiety aside and consider trying out for my original league…again. (feel free to stop reading at this point. and if you continue, don’t say i didn’t warn you about the upcoming crazy angst.)

as much as i promised myself i would skate without having the structure of a class or derby, i haven’t. in fact, i’ve skated less than a handful of times since july. every time i realize that, i die a little inside.

i also have the opportunity to drop-in on sunday nights with hard. who have been super gracious and encouraging to me. but the fact is it’s really far. like over an hour each way on a sunday evening.

and rumor has it that ctrg’s rookie practices are now thusday night and SUNDAY mornings (the latter couldn’t be more perfect). my energy level is highest in the morning, meaning my anxiety level is lowest. and thrusday nights, well, since that is the end of the week, i do much better than being out later in the beginning of the week with the whole week ahead of me. at least at this point. if i could just go and do the thing i love and learn from all those skaters who are really great skaters and focus only on that, think of what i could accomplish. anxiety disorders are a bitch, kids.

oddly i am currently writing a blog about nike, you know, “just do it.” and in my own blog post yesterday i wrote: “live your dreams.” yet here i am putting way more pressure on myself than anyone else does.

man, i just want to skate. but not just in circles because i don’t have the attention span for that. the other day i tried to tell my therapist that i think i have adult add, but i made that statement so quickly in the midst of other totally non-related statements that i think he may have missed it. squirrel!!

bitstrips no more…

Posted on by Giacarla in comics, musings

when i was a teacher, i was known as gt (goth teacher). i was also known for my fondness of illustrating points i was trying to make. by this i mean literally drawing things on the board, much to the dismay and amusement of my students who clearly didn’t know fine art when they saw it.

i’ve also always loved comics, particularly slice-of-life, autobiographical comics. ever since i read my first “fart party” graphic novel, i knew i wanted to make my own. but if i didn’t make it clear above, i’ll admit now that my drawing is a bit sub-par. maybe even lower than that if it’s even possible. so i’ve tried to find online cartooning programs, but because i’m cheap, i haven’t found any for free that will do what i was hoping it would: allow me to actually create visual accompaniments to my words. hence, my foray into bitstrip (see previous blog posts), which truth me told still crack me up.

but really, that’s cheating and i’m all for authenticity and go big or go home, so last night i ordered a book called “how to draw almost everything,” which one reviewer said will help you draw, albeit it will look like “children’s drawings.” which in all honestly, seems perfect for the type of comic i want to create.

is it going to work? am i going to end up just drawing stick figures? can you teach old dogs new tricks? eh, you don’t know until you try. live your dreams, kids. live your dreams.