this little piggie went to the er

(featured image: Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash and features a woman who is definitely and most unfortunately, not me.)

what’s that saying? put the cart before the horse? that may be what i’m doing here if the cart was the previous post about my podiatrist follow-up and this post, or the horse, is all about what happened to have that follow-up in the first place.

after a two week break from the gym because of a head cold, after being back fully only about a month after healing from a pinched nerve in my neck for almost two months, i was off on indigenous people’s day and decided to go to the gym. i slept in on that glorious morning and didn’t go until around 10. that’s over two hours later than my usual time, which already started things off on the wrong foot.

the signs were there

as i was leaving my house, i noticed a dead dragonfly caught in a spiderweb on our front door. of course, like anyone else would, i immediately feared that was a bad sign. right? a dead dragonfly? but reflecting on my years of therapy, i decided i was just being neurotic and i should get on with it. (note: this is not a warning against going to therapy but is a warning against not trusting your gut. i’m going to bring this up in my next session.)

eye of the tiger

i’m on the treadmill and for the first time in a few weeks, i actually feel good. after, i head over to the smith machine to do some squatting. i prefer the smith when i’m alone because there’s much less chance of getting hurt than if using the power rack.

likely because it was mid-morning and a holiday, the place was crowded and both smiths were being used so i decided to use the leg press. something didn’t feel right about it, but like seriously, what could go wrong?

in fact, there was a time when i was doing 270 total, which is 3 plates on both sides, but lately i’d been struggling with 180 after being away for so long and didn’t want to push it and hurt myself that day, i loaded two 45lb plates on one side no problem. i grabbed another and started to hoist it up onto the other side.

I REALLY DO THINK I HAVE ADHd

something in front of me caught my attention. i think it was two guys working out on a nearby machine. they weren’t at all interesting, but it doesn’t take a lot to distract me. remember that 45lb plate i was putting onto the bar? well, i miscalculated and you see where i’m going with this.

i stood there for a minute, not entirely sure what had happened. i knew plate was no longer in my hands, but it didn’t dawn on me right away that it was lying by, and probably on, my foot. there wasn’t much pain and let me tell you, shock is a blessing. i was actually going to keep going but thought it might be a good idea to head to the bathroom and see if i did any damage.

i did damage.

hello bathroom stall floor, my old friend

if you know me, you know that when i panic, my first instinct is to throw up. this is not all convenient, but a bit more so than when i get car sick and someone else is driving. but this is not a story about that, although i’m sure there’ll be one at some point in the future. i could actually write a whole travelogue of places i’ve had someone pull over because i was going to puke. is there a market for that type of book?

i sat on the floor in a stall and took off my sock and then you guessed it, i started heaving. throughout it all, my biggest concern was getting out of there without anyone noticing. i was literally terrified of having to tell someone or someone noticing. at that point, this was my biggest fear. pride is a funny, and often really stupid, thing.

goddess bless the woman in the next stall who asked if i needed any help for going to get all the stuff i left at the leg press. to this day, i have no idea who she was and am still intensely grateful.

i somehow managed to put my shoe back on, pull myself up, grab my stuff, and hobble quickly out of the locker room and out the door. i cannot express how relieved i was when i got to my car without, i think, anyone knowing what happened. and as most of you know, my car crutches were there waiting for me. and i say again, “who’s rolling their eyes now about carrying crutches around?”

Skip the er, we do x-rays, they say

as luck would have it, or not have it in this case, there is an urgent care right down the street from both the gym and my house. above the door is a big sign that says, “we do xrays.” except, of course, that day.

i got a little testy when the person at the desk kept asking me to get up from where i was sitting to fill out forms. finally, i had them bring to me because come on. at that point, my shoe was off, my little baby balloon foot was bare, and while i did have crutches, there very clearly was a problem.

once that was settled and they got me a wheelchair (which I asked for), the pa, who possibly was experiencing his first day at the clinic, checked out my foot. he was so distressed that it was endearing, and he sent me for an x-ray. he was also concerned that i shouldn’t drive so another hero of the day was my neighbor who came and picked me up and brought me two towns over to advanced radiology.

it’s important to note here that i was planning on going to the er, which is very close, but the pa told me i would have to wait too long there and should go to an outpatient radiology. he did give me a boot so i wouldn’t have to go home to get the one i already had, and with that and the crutches, getting around was relatively easy and barely painful. besides having broken my ankle three times, i knew the drill.

when i got to the outpatient radiology, they took pity on me and even though they were breaking for their hour lunch, they slipped me in. more heroes.

by the time i got back home, the pa had gotten the x-ray results and very strongly suggested i go to the er because my pinky toe was dislocated and would probably have to be set. it was better to do it sooner than later, he said. yes, the same er i had intended to go to in the first place. at least i could drive myself without the watchful, and probably understandably concerned, gaze of the pa.

we’re on co-pay number three if you’re counting.

as i waited at various points in my er trip, i realized that i wasn’t mad to be there. i mean, i was mad at my own stupidity, but since i work at home, alone, it was nice to be around people. yes, i do recognize how pathetic that is. (see coworking blog: “back to the office sort of.”) i was also really thirsty. i mean really, really thirsty. but they wouldn’t give me water in case they had to sedate me to reset my toe. that was literally the most uncomfortable part of the whole injury.

i shattered my arm once and had that reset. if you want to see the x-ray, just ask. i love it showing it off. but i warn you that it is not for the squeamish. anyhow, i’m pretty sure resetting a baby toe would be nothing like that and i could have gone without sedation and with a glass of water. but there was no sedation nor resetting, and later they told me i might have to have pins and rods put in to heal my poor little digit. who has surgery on their baby toe?! as it turns out, luckily, not me.

this is the end . . . or is it?

before i wrap up, another shoutout goes to the woman who wheeled me to the triage on the other side of the hospital after i had the valet park my car because there are only like 3 parking spaces in front of the er. when it was over and i was retrieving my car, she came up to me to make sure i was okay.

overall it took about a month to heal enough to resume my regular activities. that said, my foot is a bit misshapen now, although i’m not sure if it looked like that before because i never really examined my feet.

also, no physical therapy was involved, which is good because i promised my therapists i would not come back injured for at least a year. i’m on a first-name basis with everyone in that orthopedic practice.

for more on the aftermath of the “incident or the pinky toe,” see blog: “oops! i did it again.”