okay, guys, it’s that time of the year again when i try to put all my anxiety aside and consider trying out for my original league…again. (feel free to stop reading at this point. and if you continue, don’t say i didn’t warn you about the upcoming crazy angst.)
as much as i promised myself i would skate without having the structure of a class or derby, i haven’t. in fact, i’ve skated less than a handful of times since july. every time i realize that, i die a little inside.
i also have the opportunity to drop-in on sunday nights with hard. who have been super gracious and encouraging to me. but the fact is it’s really far. like over an hour each way on a sunday evening.
and rumor has it that ctrg’s rookie practices are now thusday night and SUNDAY mornings (the latter couldn’t be more perfect). my energy level is highest in the morning, meaning my anxiety level is lowest. and thrusday nights, well, since that is the end of the week, i do much better than being out later in the beginning of the week with the whole week ahead of me. at least at this point. if i could just go and do the thing i love and learn from all those skaters who are really great skaters and focus only on that, think of what i could accomplish. anxiety disorders are a bitch, kids.
oddly i am currently writing a blog about nike, you know, “just do it.” and in my own blog post yesterday i wrote: “live your dreams.” yet here i am putting way more pressure on myself than anyone else does.
man, i just want to skate. but not just in circles because i don’t have the attention span for that. the other day i tried to tell my therapist that i think i have adult add, but i made that statement so quickly in the midst of other totally non-related statements that i think he may have missed it. squirrel!!
Hi, I'm Gia. 